And breathe

Maybe it’s the incessant tiredness that makes everyone seem so annoying. Or maybe it’s just that everyone IS so annoying.

Definitely the latter.

Since becoming a mum, I’m definitely not as tolerant of other people as I used to be. In fact, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to bite my tongue or scream into a pillow, thanks to…

People who give unsolicited advice… People with young kids, people with older kids, people who’ve never had kids; they all want to throw in their two cents’ worth. Thanks but I don’t need the advice; I have Google.

Soppy relatives… “Hello! Remember me? The vessel that carried and grew this precious bundle for all those months.” It’s nice and all that they love the kid so much, but some acknowledgement of my presence in the room, or existence in general, would be welcomed.

Sick people… Step away. And don’t try to tell me your sniffle is probably just hayfever.

People who use parent and child parking spaces when they have no kid in tow… Usually, I’m beaten to one of these spaces by a guy in a white van (with no kid, obvs). A few days ago, it was a BMW driver who considered his hanging suit as precious cargo worthy of a wide berth bay. One day, these people will feel the wrath of this tired and hungry mother who can’t find anywhere to park. One day.

Parents who lie and tell me their baby sleeps through the night… Not just the defined five hours but THE WHOLE NIGHT. (They may not be lying but for the sake of my sanity, I’ll continue to think they are.)

People who don’t have kids and ask annoying questions… The most popular one so far being, “Does she sleep through the night yet?” Ugh.

People who tell new parents to cherish every moment... Anyone who says this is an idiot. Parents are under no obligation to cherish every single moment, and it’s important to be able to say it’s tough without judgement. Because it IS tough, and by saying we shouldn’t acknowledge this just adds to the insurmountable mum guilt we already feel. And ain’t nobody got time for that, least of all new mums.

And breathe…

In the interest of balance, and to show I am cherishing every moment, I’ll write a list of some good stuff. Just not today.

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