Nighttime musings

Lying in my bed and my head is such a mess.

I would like to be asleep but my baby is a thief.

She’s robbed me of my nights, and my days are too a fright.

But I’m feeling hashtag blessed c’os I know it could be worse.

To be honest, I feel shit, even though I love this kid.

My eyes can barely see, I forget to brush my teeth.

And my hair is falling out, I’m a mess without a doubt.

Suddenly I hear a snore, it’s from him the guy next door.

He is stretched out in the bed, taking space I never get.

If I could I’d kick him out but my baby would then shout.

I can barely take a breath, never mind sort out this mess.

So I’m staring at the wall, thinking whom I’d like to call.

I’m aware it’s 3am but it’s hypothetical.

Then I realise there’s no one that I could now dial home to.

I’m not sure when this occurred because my world is slightly blurred.

Motherhood has changed my life, it’s changed my body and my mind.

I’m told there’s light when darkness ends but that is easy to forget.

So for now I’ll keep on keeping, keep on knowing, keep on thinking.

About being in the now, even if it’s not all ‘WOW’.

With a thought on times ahead and maybe a bigger bed?!

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